Home Tech Virtualization KVM Howtos Displaying items by tag: Humor
Friday, 23 December 2011 23:30

50% off of free!

I often take photos of humorous department/grocery store signs. This one I took years ago but missed putting it up. This is in the famed Galleries Lafayette in Paris, a store that charges enough for it's clothes to pay for a personal mathematician to go around and correct signs. It appears he was off that day.

So this 50% off of free, is that before or after taxes? And also is there a chance the price will go down further because I've heard rumors that next week it will be 60% off of free.


I'm sure this is a translation error but still it's funny. Free minus 50%, discount already deducted. You know because it's so hard to calculate. 

While we were there we saw a dress that was 9,000 Euros, about $13,500 U.S. dollars at the time. Too bad that wasn't 50% off of free. 

Published in Humor
Monday, 30 November 2009 06:58

Airport Security.

Every time I go through security I feel this way. Credit to xkcd.com

Published in Travel Blog
Sunday, 01 January 2012 17:07

Changes to Sound Transit bus/train service

 Note: This post will mean a lot more to those of you living in the Seattle/Tacoma/Olympia area and attempting to use public transportation. It's meant to be humorous but based in reality in a sort of depressing way.

The original Sound Transit announcement for reference.


Your current transit news from your transit news correspondent Haywood Jablomey.

Sound Transit remaps the 574 route to connect with the Sounder which goes in the OPPOSITE direction. So for those people traveling from the Airport to Seattle who want to transfer to the Sounder they can now do it at Lakewood… 35 miles from the city.

Pierce Transit after a massive service hour cut adds the 400 route to duplicate the service offered by the Sounder. Sound Transit counters by canceling a portion of the 578 route that duplicates what the PT 400 duplicates of the Sounder route thus saving tax payers $12 which is handed over to Piece Transit and immediately applied to it’s million dollar shortfall easing the tension between Piece Transit and all the cities that pay for it but it no longer services.

Sound Transit add Sunday service to the 578 for all the people who can’t connect to it using Sounder or Pierce Transit 400 due to there not being any weekend service on either.

Sound Transit discontinues the downtown Tacoma portion of the 586 because countless other services cover that route including the Oly Express which doesn’t stop at Tacoma Dome on hours ending with consonants on days ending in y (unless it’s raining then there’s a 50/50 chance due to the letter y not always being considered a vowel) resulting in 605 riders to the U District moving from a 2 seat ride to a 3 seat ride either 30%, 35% or 48% of the time.

Sound Transit extends Sounder south to get closer to 820 parking spots which couldn’t seem to squeeze near the 2283 already available stalls at Tacoma Dome Station thus encouraging people to drive south to park so they can catch the Sounder north back past their houses giving working husbands and wives a second chance to wave to their spouses and check on their lawns. Nobody else notices since the Oly Express still won’t make any sort of intelligent connection to the Sounder effectively keeping the 59x buses annoyingly full.

To discourage people from taking the Sounder Commuter Train Sound Transit has doubled the frequency of both the 590 and 594 in commute direction only thus making better use of empty parking spaces in the city that so far have not been fully utilized because in the past the buses were busy carrying people around. Coffee shops expect to see an increase in ticket sales from the hordes of ST bus drivers milling about during the day. It’s been proposed that cardboard “Occupy Wall Street” signs be added to their uniform so people won’t notice they are in fact employed bus drivers with nothing better to do.

Afraid that there may be some good news buried in the changes somewhere for at least ONE line Sound Transit has doubled the service runs of the 592 bus but stops short of actually delivering passengers anywhere useful. Options are to take the Sounder, walk a block to board the Link and travel one or two stops further north or south. Proposed changes are intended to either leave 592 riders stranded or irritated. Either is acceptable. Rumors of a conspiracy by Jamie Oliver to force long transit connection in an attempt to “slim Americans down” go unfounded. Rumors of him being awarded a second TED prize for an upcoming speech however just will not go away.

Not to leave a sour taste in anyone’s mouth Sound Transit has added ONE extra ST 510 run per day to Everett. It isn’t presently clear at what time a day it runs and it’s existence hasn’t been proven.

And that’s it for this week folks. Have a happy new year.

Published in Transit Blog
Tuesday, 07 September 2010 02:09

Do you have any more charcole smookers?

This was on Craigslist today. I started chuckling at how well taken care of this "smooker" is but the text is funny too. I'm not sure what a charcole smooker is but it sure looks like they've taken great care of it. It's not rusted ALL THE WAY through like the others.


smoker/charcole grill - $75 (olympia)

Date: 2010-09-04, 3:11PM PDT

well taken care of char-griller smooker if interested call me at [number deleted] obo thanks


Published in Food Blog

I couldn't resist capturing the epitome of our gastronomic downfall in America. I saw this in Albertson's Grocery and couldn't believe my eyes. Flame Broiled Cheeseburgers.... sounds good until you realize that you've wandered haphazardly into the frozen section and the box says they're microwavable. Any burger coming out of a microwave is going to taste like something big and brown from a pasture but it won't be cow. What's worse is that it comes with a bun and cheese. I'm sure the microwave will do wonders to those as well. I'm also a bit confused about the flame broiled part. So they're flame broiled, frozen and then warmed up in the microwave? Why don't they just rub shoe polish on them because a shoe polished patty will look about as close to flame broiling as this pile.

Is it that hard to just make a hamburger? Really? You take hamburger, flatten it and cook it. Seriously folks you could do it with one leg tied behind your back (I'm aware that the saying usually contains an arm but it's more fun for us to visualize this way). If the thought of warming a pan brings sweat beads to your forehead and uncontrollable rocking then head on over to McBurger Queenville's 5 Brothers burger shop and grab a 99 cent cheeseburger. I'm sure their food sucks but at least each part is frozen seperately and then reheated on something that does more than excite the water molecules by beating the crap out of them with electrons.

The worst part of this is the price. Check out the sticker on the bottom left - $5.48/lb! Are you crazy? Buns cost about $1/lb and cheese about $4/lb. That means that 2 oz hamburger patty is coming in at around $9/lb. I have another idea, get a meat grinder and a blind fold. Put the blind fold on and head to your local meat counter (if you're driving be careful), once there point in the meat's general direction, then take whatever you bought home, grind it up (legal counsel tells me I need to inform you to remove the blind fold somewhere around this step) and cook it. I guarantee you this will make a better burger for the same price and in under 10 minutes time.

Published in Food Blog
Wednesday, 25 May 2011 16:43

Grocery Outlet, you crack me up.

I swear I could have a blog just covering Grocery Outlet's  products. I'd have to carry a camera around and take pictures of all the crazy things in their stores. Wait, I already do that.

So what's happened this week is that Grocery Outlet has a killer sale on SPAM. That's right, hard to resist isn't it? Not only is this an interest for The Man, The Myth, The Legend's cost conscious SPAM eating readers (who admit it) but also those health conscious penny pinching, tight wad, SPAM eating readers too since it has 25% less salt! Please hold your applause until I'm done, thanks!. If my math is correct this means that it probably weighs about 25% less now too. There's been no word on which 25% of salt has been removed though. How much money will you save if you run by Grocery Outlet on the way home to pick up a can of Montanan's New York steak? About $5 a pound! That deal is too good to be true for sure. Actually you may be wondering how it's possible to even give a $5 discount on a one pound can of SPAM.


Published in Food Blog
Sunday, 23 November 2008 16:00

Grocery store cards

It's become very irritating to me that we need to have a "membership" card to buy anything anymore. When I got my Albertson's card (who swore they'd never have one) I requested it to be anonymous. QFC required a card unless you wanted to pay double already high prices for everything. Safeway was one of the first stores to require the card and I originally got one with my name on it which became very annoying because even though Safeway employees are forced to act like they care they really don't. Whenever I'd check out they'd say "Thanks for shopping at Safeway Mr Williams" which goes to show they didn't spend two seconds actually reading the name on the receipt. I decided to test this theory a couple of years ago and got an additional card, this time with the name Haywood Jabloomy. I didn't want it to be too obvious so I added an extra o to my last name - it should be Haywood Jablomy. If you haven't caught on by now just say it out loud. Anyway I could be coming home from an absoutely exhuasting day at work and stop off at Safeway to pick up something for dinner and walk out barely able to contain myself when they call me Mr Jabloomy. So far nobody has caught on to what it really is but one guy got close and asked me what kind of name it was - I very seriously responded "It's Polish". My very tongue in cheek (perhaps the tongue in cheek reference is recursive?) reference to the Polish sausage industry.

Anyway I'd not been to Safeway in a while until last night when I stopped off to buy gasoline. I swiped my Safeway Club card and the gas pump welcomed me with this message. I laughed so hard I had to stop pumping gas, put my card in again and take a picture of the message which I share here with you, my faithful viewers.

Published in Humor
Monday, 15 February 2010 05:49

I thought that is why we had Myspace!


Readwriteweb did an article on Facebook wanting to be your one login. Their point was that people use it for posting their photos, instant messaging, "email" and just about everything else. The problem was the article's title was Facebook Wants to Be Your One True Login and of course Google indexes this with the words Facebook and Login together. Now when people type in "Facebook login" into Google they got the article referenced above instead of the Facebook login page. This would not be a problem for anyone with more than a half a working brain because they'd immediately notice that the Readwriteweb site looks nothing like Facebook and would then conclude that they were not in fact at the Facebook login page but a completely different page (hence the strange non-Facebook URL)! Unfortunately not everyone on Facebook has half a working brain (thanks Myspace for falling out of favor, now they invaded Facebook) so the comment thread that ensued was quite hilarious.

Here are a few comments to the article. Notice that these freaks of nature really think they've landed on the Facebook login page but can't figure out how to log in.

I did NOT hand pick these, I'm just going down the line one after the other!!!

  • ok cool now can I get to facebook
  • The new facebook sucks> NOW LET ME IN.
  • when can we log in?
  • just want to get on facebook
  • please give me back the old facebook login this is crazy.................
  • I just want to sign in............
  • I just want to log in to Facebook - what with the red color and all? LOLLLOLOL!!!!!111
  • wtf is this bullshttttttttttt all about. can i get n plzzzzzzzzz
  • What is going on? You are totally confusing me. Knock-knock. Anybody there? Let me in. Katherine
  • All I want to do is log in, this sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
  • This is such a mess I can't do a thing on my facebook .The changes you have made are ridiculous,I can't even login!!!!!I am very upset!!!

Keep in mind that these fine people are not on the FACEBOOK site at all but are on the Readwriteweb site reading an article about Facebook. There's more...

  • Can we log into face book? This is crazy I want to get all my info off and be done with this. I recently moved from MN to SC Myrtle Beach and facebook was a great way to keep in touch with family and friends but this is getting to be to difficult.
  • i need the old facebook this new one is very bad bbbbbbbbbbuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
  • What have they done now. It's not simple enough for me to figure out.
  • Seams like all of the comets i read agree with me you people messed up royal i was enjoying facebook now i am thinking of getting rid of it all
  • Quit this crap and let me sign in!

  • this sucksssss how do i get on my screen?
  • Looking good
  • bring me back old facebook
    this is sheet


It isn't until about the 80th post that a few people start realizing that this isn't Facebook. Here's the original URL if you want a laugh.

Facebook wants to be your one true login


Published in Tech Blog

I'm thinking that Amazon has an issue with their database and the photo isn't matching up exactly to the description.


Published in Tech Blog
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Home Tech Virtualization KVM Howtos Displaying items by tag: Humor